Lost.

[sexyscholar]

So. The finale was on last night.

This is in ALL CAPS because the episode was madness, and I'm so glad I'm watching Lost again.

Spoilers all over the place.



CHARLIE, NOOOOOO!!! ;____________________;

...

*FLASHBACK TO THE FUTURE*

OK, IT STARTS AND JACK HAD OMGCRAZYASSHOBOBEARD AND I KEPT EXPECTING A SCORPION OR SOME SUCH SHIT TO CRAWL OUT OF IT AND IT FREAKED ME OUT, K? K. HE WAS ON HIS 56,389TH BEVERAGE AND THE STEWARDESS WAS ALL LIKE, "YOU'RE A STINKY, BEARDY ALCOHOLIC. AND YOU CRY. GET OFFA MA PLANE."

AND THEN HE CRIED, AND I WAS LIKE, "BEARD JEARS!" WHICH SOUNDED DIRTY SOMEHOW BUT I DIDN'T REALLY CARE.

AND WTF, HE THOUGHT HIS DAD WAS ALIVE? HE WAS ALL LIKE, "YOU THINK I'M DRUNK? DUDE, GO SEE HOW DRUNK MY DAD IS!" O_o

THEN BACK ON THE ISLAND, JACK AND JULIETTE KISSED, AND KATE WAS ALL ";_;" AND I WAS LIKE, "WTF?! WHY ARE YOU ALL ;_; OVER JACK WHEN YOU'VE GOT SAWYER?! STUPID BEEYOTCH." I HATE KATE.

AND THEN I WANTED TO GLOMP HURLEY BECAUSE HE WAS ALL, "I JUST WANNA HELP, DUDES," AND SAWYER WAS LIKE, "ACK! NO," AND THEN HURLEY WAS ALL "._." AND I WAS LIKE, "SAYWER, YOU HURT HURLEY'S FEELBADS!"

THEN SAYID KILLED A GUY WITH HIS FOOT AND I WAS LIKE, "OMFG, THAT WAS HAWT SEX ON A PLATTER ;JKALKSDFA;JKLASDF!" I CLIMAXED, AND THEN I DRANK A PEPSI.

THEN CRAZYBEN SHOWED UP AND HE WAS LIKE, "YOUR FRIEND NAOMI IS SO NOT A GOOD GUY." AND I WAS LIKE "YEAH, SO WTF ELSE IS NEW?" AND THEN CRAZYBEN WAS LIKE, "GIMME THE PHONE OR TOM IS GOING TO BLOW BIG HOLES IN YOUR DUDES ON THE BEACH," AND JACK WAS LIKE, "NUH-UNH!" AND CRAZYBEN WAS LIKE, "UH-HUH!" AND THEN *BANG!*

BUT TOM DIDN'T KILL THE DUDES (WHEW.)

THEN HURLEY CAME CRASHING THRU IN THE SHAMBALALALA HIPPIE VAN AND SAVED EVERYBODY, AND WE WERE ALL LIKE "OMGYAY! NOW HURLEY HAS HAPPY FEELGOODS! IN YO FACE, SAWYER!"

THEN I CLIMAXED AGAIN WHEN SAWYER SHOT TOM. AND DRANK A PEPSI AGAIN. "I DIDN'T BELIEVE HIM." *CLIMAXES AGAIN AGAIN* *DRINKS A PEPSI AGAIN AGAIN*

AND THEN PATCHY MCPATCHOVIC SHOWED UP, AND I WAS LIKE, "WAIT, DIDN'T YOU DIE LIKE 37 TIMES ALREADY??!" BUT HE TOTALLY KILLED THE UNDERWATER LESBIES THAT WERE PICKING ON CHARLIE. THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOMER THAN AWESOME.

THEN DESMOND SHOWED UP AND HE WAS ALL LIKE "AH'M 'ERE TO SAVE YOO, BROTHA CHAHLEH!" AND THEN HE SPEARED PATCHY, AND I WAS LIKE, "YAY BROTHA!" *CHANTS* DESMOND-DESMOND-DESMOND-BROTHA!

BUT THEN CHARLIE. ;_______________________________________________;

AND THEN DESMOND AND CHARLIE HAD THIS "I'LL NEVER LET GOOOOOO" MOMENT, AND IT WAS VERY SAD AND A LITTLE BIT GAY.

AND THEN I WANTED TO KILL LOCKE A WHOLE LOT BECAUSE HE WAS LIKE, "WE'RE TOTALLY NOT LEAVING THIS ISLAND, AND I'M GOING TO TOTALLY START BLOWING PEOPLE UP IN A MINUTE, K?"

AND JACK WAS ALL LIKE, "LOCKE, TALK TO THE HAND, CUZ WE'RE TOTALLY LEAVING, K? LA-DI-DA-DI BEAM ME UP SCOTTY!"

*FLASHBACK TO THE FUTURE 2: IN THE YEAR 3000*

THEN JACK WAS SITTING ON THE FLOOR DRAWING "I ♥ OCEANIC" ON ALL HIS STUFF AND HE CALLS UP KATE, AND I'M LIKE, "DON'T CALL KATE CUZ SHE'S GONNA BE ALL ;_;," AND I WAS RIGHT CUZ SHE WAS.

KATE WAS ALL ";_; YOU LOOK LIKE STIR FRIED SHIT BEARDYASSHOBO JACK AND I TOTALLY WOULDN'T DO YOU NOW." AND JACK WAS LIKE, "LOOK STFU, YOU SHOULD SEE MY DAD!"

AND SOMEBODY DIED, AND WE'RE ALL LIKE "OK WTF WHO DIED?" AND KATE LIKE, "OMG, I'D RATHER EAT THREE DAY OLD CAT SHIT THAN GO TO THE FUNERAL." AND SHE WAS LIKE "WELL, TTYL CUZ I GOTTA GO" AND I WAS LIKE "WHERE ARE YOU GOING? IS SAWYER BACK AT YOUR HOUSE LIKE, "KATE GET IN HERE AND MAKE ME A SAMMICH?"

AND JACK WAS ALL LIKE, "WE HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE ISLAND BECAUSE I'M HAVING HERO WITHDRAWAL OMG! *JEARS*"

AND KATE WAS LIKE, "YOU KNOW WHAT, BEARDYASSHOBO JACK? FUCK THAT NOISE."

AND THEN THE PLANE WAS ALL LIKE "NYEEEEEEERM!"

BEST. EPISODE. EVER.

I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL THE END OF FEBRUARY? OKAY, THAT'S JUST NOT RIGHT. ;LASKJAKSJLD

Comments

[vonpookie.livejournal.com]

First things first: Didn't read the actual post here yet, as we haven't watched the episode yet. Probably tonight (I'm hoping). Will come back and read after I've watched it :)

That being said, what I actually came here to say: a couple of weeks ago, when the whole Jacob thing went down? I did find myself saying to J "well, you can tell it's the end of the season. THERE IS FINALLY SOMETHING HAPPENING."

GOD this season was a bitch to get through except for the last several weeks.

[sexyscholar.livejournal.com]

I finally got back into the fold on this season after getting thoroughly frustrated with the second.

But yeah, it was very promising when we got the glimpse (sorta) of Jacob.

When Locke was in the cabin, I was like, "OMG HE'S THERE! I TOTALLY SAW HIM! AND HE LOOKS MORE THAN LITTLE LIKE...JESUS?"

My husband laughs at me. :)

[team-jessie.livejournal.com]

Great synopsis!
I also liked the part where Sayid started killing people with his ankles. Because he's all crazy and ninja.

[sexyscholar.livejournal.com]

I couldn't even speak when he did that.

Well, I could -- but it came out as all this horny gibberish that I didn't want to repeat. I think I may have to edit the post to include it, though. :)

[goddess-of-art.livejournal.com]

LOL, best summary EVAR!

[sexyscholar.livejournal.com]

Hee!

Thank you!

[xlnyc.livejournal.com]

agree, Ive never seen lost, but if I read posts like this a couple of years back I would have started

[fmh.livejournal.com]

Not making with the clicky, I still have to watch it.

[stuckinsea.livejournal.com]

That pretty much sums it up...lol.

OMFG. I was thinking the same freaking thing about Kate...I loathe her so, remember when she was talking about she might be pregnant? Maybe she's was talking about that. Because she had Sawyer's baby and then Sawyer left and that was his funeral...dun, dun, dun.

But, yes Kate just needs to die. Love, Sayid. I fucking cried "FUCK YEAH!" that's what you get for tying him up bitches!

And Hurley...Guh, I Love Hurley. He's just a great character. And being turned away by both Charlie and Sawyer and all he wanted to do was help, I teared...lol. But, then he saves the day. Love it.

Sawyer, damn when he just killed Tom...I was like he's just not blinking at all anymore ever since he killed that dude in the Black Rock, no feeling, no emotion, just kill.

Since when do you call me Kate?

Uh, maybe it's because you suck and he's finally moving on...God, I hope so...He's too fucking hot to be with her....lol.

Yes, I had a moment with Charlie/Desmond. It was fucking awesome. When he did the sign of the cross before dying, my heart ached. He better not be dead, he better not. I swear LOTR fans watched this show for him and brought the rest of the people for the ride...don't kill the Hobbit.

And I'm spent.

[sexyscholar.livejournal.com]

Since when do you call me Kate?

"OMG SINCE I TOTALLY BANGED BLONDIE (JULIETTE) ON THE BIZNEECH!"

Okay, so Sawyer didn't say that, but I really wanted him to. :p

There was a lot of Charlie/Desmond going on, and I loved it. AND THE CAPSLOCK RETURNZ!


CUZ DESMOND WOULD BE LIKE, "YOU'RE GONNA DIE, BROTHA."

AND THEN CHARLIE WOULD BE LIKE, "WELL HOW'S IT GONNA HAPPEN, BROTHA?"

AND THEN DEZ WAS ALL, "I CAN'T TELL YOU, BROTHA."

AND CHARLIE WAS ALL LIKE, "WELL, WHY'D YOU EVEN BOTHER TO TELL ME IF YOU CAN'T TELL ME, BROTHA?!!"

AND DEZ WAS LIKE, "CUZ I USED TO BE A BROTHA BROTHA, AND I THOUGHT I HAD TO TELL YOU BROTHA CUZ HONESTY WAS LIKE, IN OUR BROTHA CODE AND STUFF."

[thiscantbesoy.livejournal.com]

OMG WHEN SAWYER WAS MEAN TO HURLEY I WAS ALL "OH NO POOR HURLZ!!!!!! POOR HURLZ!!!!!" MAKE-A ME SO SAD!!!

PS: I'M VERY MAD AT CHARLES BECAUSE ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS WAIT FOR THE ROOM TO ALMOST FILL WITH WATER AND THEN SWIM OUT THE MUTHFUCK PORTHOLE UP TO THE SURFACE!! HE DIDN'T HAVE TO DIES!

[sexyscholar.livejournal.com]

I KNOES!

THEY KILLED MY HOBBIT AND I DON'T LIKE IT ONE LITTE BIT NUH-UNH!

BUT THEN I KEPT THINKING THEY WERE GOING TO LET HIM LIVE, CUZ LAST WEEK WHEN HE GOT UP IN THERE, HE WAS ALL LIKE, "OMGYAY ME IS LIVED!" AND I WAS LIKE, "OMG CHARLIE, SHUTTHEFUCKUP BEFORE SOMEONE COMES AND DEADS YOUR ALIVE ASS!"

AND THEN THE UNDERWATER LESBIES SHOWED UP AND STARTED BEATING HIM UP AND ALL OF A SUDDENZ IT WAS SOME FREAKY LOST!PORN KINDA SHIT GOING ON.

SON, WHY COULDN'T KATE DIE AT THE END?

WHEN THE PLANE TOOK OFF FROM THE AIR-O-PWERT-O IN CALLYFORNIGH-A, I WAS ALL LIKE, "OMG MR. PLANE, LAND ON THEM PLZ??!!!1"

[thiscantbesoy.livejournal.com]

NOW WHO'S GONNA TELL CLAH THAT CHALLIE IS DEADS! CLAH & CHALLIE WERE LUVBRRDS!

[sexyscholar.livejournal.com]

S'PROLLY GONNA BE DEZ.

"AYE, CLAH YOUR POOR CHALLIE IS DED, BUT AHLL BE 'ERE TA HELP YA PICK THE PIECES.

AYE."

[thiscantbesoy.livejournal.com]

"AYE, CLAH YOUR POOR CHALLIE IS DED, BUT AHLL BE 'ERE TA HELP YA PICK THE PIECES....BROTHA"