Lost.

[sexyscholar]

So. The finale was on last night.

This is in ALL CAPS because the episode was madness, and I'm so glad I'm watching Lost again.

Spoilers all over the place.



CHARLIE, NOOOOOO!!! ;____________________;

...

*FLASHBACK TO THE FUTURE*

OK, IT STARTS AND JACK HAD OMGCRAZYASSHOBOBEARD AND I KEPT EXPECTING A SCORPION OR SOME SUCH SHIT TO CRAWL OUT OF IT AND IT FREAKED ME OUT, K? K. HE WAS ON HIS 56,389TH BEVERAGE AND THE STEWARDESS WAS ALL LIKE, "YOU'RE A STINKY, BEARDY ALCOHOLIC. AND YOU CRY. GET OFFA MA PLANE."

AND THEN HE CRIED, AND I WAS LIKE, "BEARD JEARS!" WHICH SOUNDED DIRTY SOMEHOW BUT I DIDN'T REALLY CARE.

AND WTF, HE THOUGHT HIS DAD WAS ALIVE? HE WAS ALL LIKE, "YOU THINK I'M DRUNK? DUDE, GO SEE HOW DRUNK MY DAD IS!" O_o

THEN BACK ON THE ISLAND, JACK AND JULIETTE KISSED, AND KATE WAS ALL ";_;" AND I WAS LIKE, "WTF?! WHY ARE YOU ALL ;_; OVER JACK WHEN YOU'VE GOT SAWYER?! STUPID BEEYOTCH." I HATE KATE.

AND THEN I WANTED TO GLOMP HURLEY BECAUSE HE WAS ALL, "I JUST WANNA HELP, DUDES," AND SAWYER WAS LIKE, "ACK! NO," AND THEN HURLEY WAS ALL "._." AND I WAS LIKE, "SAYWER, YOU HURT HURLEY'S FEELBADS!"

THEN SAYID KILLED A GUY WITH HIS FOOT AND I WAS LIKE, "OMFG, THAT WAS HAWT SEX ON A PLATTER ;JKALKSDFA;JKLASDF!" I CLIMAXED, AND THEN I DRANK A PEPSI.

THEN CRAZYBEN SHOWED UP AND HE WAS LIKE, "YOUR FRIEND NAOMI IS SO NOT A GOOD GUY." AND I WAS LIKE "YEAH, SO WTF ELSE IS NEW?" AND THEN CRAZYBEN WAS LIKE, "GIMME THE PHONE OR TOM IS GOING TO BLOW BIG HOLES IN YOUR DUDES ON THE BEACH," AND JACK WAS LIKE, "NUH-UNH!" AND CRAZYBEN WAS LIKE, "UH-HUH!" AND THEN *BANG!*

BUT TOM DIDN'T KILL THE DUDES (WHEW.)

THEN HURLEY CAME CRASHING THRU IN THE SHAMBALALALA HIPPIE VAN AND SAVED EVERYBODY, AND WE WERE ALL LIKE "OMGYAY! NOW HURLEY HAS HAPPY FEELGOODS! IN YO FACE, SAWYER!"

THEN I CLIMAXED AGAIN WHEN SAWYER SHOT TOM. AND DRANK A PEPSI AGAIN. "I DIDN'T BELIEVE HIM." *CLIMAXES AGAIN AGAIN* *DRINKS A PEPSI AGAIN AGAIN*

AND THEN PATCHY MCPATCHOVIC SHOWED UP, AND I WAS LIKE, "WAIT, DIDN'T YOU DIE LIKE 37 TIMES ALREADY??!" BUT HE TOTALLY KILLED THE UNDERWATER LESBIES THAT WERE PICKING ON CHARLIE. THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOMER THAN AWESOME.

THEN DESMOND SHOWED UP AND HE WAS ALL LIKE "AH'M 'ERE TO SAVE YOO, BROTHA CHAHLEH!" AND THEN HE SPEARED PATCHY, AND I WAS LIKE, "YAY BROTHA!" *CHANTS* DESMOND-DESMOND-DESMOND-BROTHA!

BUT THEN CHARLIE. ;_______________________________________________;

AND THEN DESMOND AND CHARLIE HAD THIS "I'LL NEVER LET GOOOOOO" MOMENT, AND IT WAS VERY SAD AND A LITTLE BIT GAY.

AND THEN I WANTED TO KILL LOCKE A WHOLE LOT BECAUSE HE WAS LIKE, "WE'RE TOTALLY NOT LEAVING THIS ISLAND, AND I'M GOING TO TOTALLY START BLOWING PEOPLE UP IN A MINUTE, K?"

AND JACK WAS ALL LIKE, "LOCKE, TALK TO THE HAND, CUZ WE'RE TOTALLY LEAVING, K? LA-DI-DA-DI BEAM ME UP SCOTTY!"

*FLASHBACK TO THE FUTURE 2: IN THE YEAR 3000*

THEN JACK WAS SITTING ON THE FLOOR DRAWING "I ♥ OCEANIC" ON ALL HIS STUFF AND HE CALLS UP KATE, AND I'M LIKE, "DON'T CALL KATE CUZ SHE'S GONNA BE ALL ;_;," AND I WAS RIGHT CUZ SHE WAS.

KATE WAS ALL ";_; YOU LOOK LIKE STIR FRIED SHIT BEARDYASSHOBO JACK AND I TOTALLY WOULDN'T DO YOU NOW." AND JACK WAS LIKE, "LOOK STFU, YOU SHOULD SEE MY DAD!"

AND SOMEBODY DIED, AND WE'RE ALL LIKE "OK WTF WHO DIED?" AND KATE LIKE, "OMG, I'D RATHER EAT THREE DAY OLD CAT SHIT THAN GO TO THE FUNERAL." AND SHE WAS LIKE "WELL, TTYL CUZ I GOTTA GO" AND I WAS LIKE "WHERE ARE YOU GOING? IS SAWYER BACK AT YOUR HOUSE LIKE, "KATE GET IN HERE AND MAKE ME A SAMMICH?"

AND JACK WAS ALL LIKE, "WE HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE ISLAND BECAUSE I'M HAVING HERO WITHDRAWAL OMG! *JEARS*"

AND KATE WAS LIKE, "YOU KNOW WHAT, BEARDYASSHOBO JACK? FUCK THAT NOISE."

AND THEN THE PLANE WAS ALL LIKE "NYEEEEEEERM!"

BEST. EPISODE. EVER.

I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL THE END OF FEBRUARY? OKAY, THAT'S JUST NOT RIGHT. ;LASKJAKSJLD

Comments

[sexyscholar.livejournal.com]

I KNOES!

THEY KILLED MY HOBBIT AND I DON'T LIKE IT ONE LITTE BIT NUH-UNH!

BUT THEN I KEPT THINKING THEY WERE GOING TO LET HIM LIVE, CUZ LAST WEEK WHEN HE GOT UP IN THERE, HE WAS ALL LIKE, "OMGYAY ME IS LIVED!" AND I WAS LIKE, "OMG CHARLIE, SHUTTHEFUCKUP BEFORE SOMEONE COMES AND DEADS YOUR ALIVE ASS!"

AND THEN THE UNDERWATER LESBIES SHOWED UP AND STARTED BEATING HIM UP AND ALL OF A SUDDENZ IT WAS SOME FREAKY LOST!PORN KINDA SHIT GOING ON.

SON, WHY COULDN'T KATE DIE AT THE END?

WHEN THE PLANE TOOK OFF FROM THE AIR-O-PWERT-O IN CALLYFORNIGH-A, I WAS ALL LIKE, "OMG MR. PLANE, LAND ON THEM PLZ??!!!1"

[thiscantbesoy.livejournal.com]

NOW WHO'S GONNA TELL CLAH THAT CHALLIE IS DEADS! CLAH & CHALLIE WERE LUVBRRDS!

[sexyscholar.livejournal.com]

S'PROLLY GONNA BE DEZ.

"AYE, CLAH YOUR POOR CHALLIE IS DED, BUT AHLL BE 'ERE TA HELP YA PICK THE PIECES.

AYE."

[thiscantbesoy.livejournal.com]

"AYE, CLAH YOUR POOR CHALLIE IS DED, BUT AHLL BE 'ERE TA HELP YA PICK THE PIECES....BROTHA"