Spandom Ram.

[sexyscholar]

I was emptying my spam mail folder this morning. I'm is bored.


"I caught my mom doing some guy on the computer and the internet."

So, you mean she was doing the guy on the computer? That sounds uncomfortable. I mean, where would you put your feet? Not to mention (too late) the clean up involved. I don't think those compressed air cleaners will get that out of the keyboard. Yick. And the internet...so, they browsed while they did it? *is amazed by their talent* Wo-- but wait. You stayed and watched? Ew, dude.

"MY mom caught Nude on video!"

You again? Geez, you really need to look into seeing a shrink. But anyway. She caught Nude on video? How'd she manage to do that? I've been looking for Nude for years, but it keeps alluding me. Bastard Nude. Hey! What's so special about your mom? I mean, sure she can do guys on the computer and the internet, but who's to say that MY mom couldn't have found Nude? Pssh.

"!tips"

Don't slam any body parts in car doors.

"I'm Onlin now."

Oh, so that's why I couldn't find you! You're Onlin now. *could have had a V8* I was looking for Offlin, no wonder.

"We are here to pay you more RAMONA"

That's okay. I've got more RAMONA than I can stand now, thnx.

"Big black clit."

You really should see a doctor about that. Wow.

Comments

[greyyguy.livejournal.com]

You can get paid in RAMONA? And here I've been getting cash all these years.

[sexyscholar.livejournal.com]

Apparently.

I don't know what I'd spend it on, though.

[mightyafrodite.livejournal.com]

My spam is rarely that entertaining.

[sexyscholar.livejournal.com]

Of course it is!

Spam is always entertaining...sometimes you just have to work for it. :p

[evilsource.livejournal.com]

*checks spam box*

"Ontario:
their
last. panel prominent whom were Preston
stepped plate
respect sexual
makers cops musicians Ian
umm better settlers
tax sixty
House Iraq vet personal
spine exhibited
Legal Justice Security
Wisconsin gained fan:
course saviness cant without
Md.Is staff launch
effort increase security enhance among
permanent curvature"

Why can't I get penis spam like everyone else? Mine seems to be some form of pretentious free-form poetry. There are three like this just from today.

"Yourth faithfully"

On the bright side, Daffy Duck is still speaking to me.

[sexyscholar.livejournal.com]

I never get the penis spam, either. It hurts my feelings.

Ooh! I got one of those prose-y ones today:

"laid across
whose credits worth French
Warning: Noname brand closer yields
invasion
range Services.
printing. Creating process requiring
digital also. General.
eleventh vellum
second publisher code. last
Aria
convert
tight fingers. fitting dong width inches. sucked cock thing. Florence
article:
rows bookends
Rock just
Spanish fly required. Erotic
visit website unit. measures
YHPC Initiates February offers
Wikipedia continued donations
vagina
plastic penis inches Devons
COVERED: Technical NASA TM
entry points. Pubic squeezy boobs. Warning:
divided unbound leaves
entire blocks
movable circa
Merton
warm laid across
Blowjob
headbutt outrage: black
Queens Barker presented Elizabeth fringed silk
Yunui worlds"

Pubic squeezy boobs. I LOVE IT.

If you have Daffy Duck's love, do you really need anything else?

[evilsource.livejournal.com]

Yours is clearly warning of the dangers inherent in reading too much kinky slash on the internet. Deep.

[sexyscholar.livejournal.com]

Indeed, indeed.

But! My kinky slash! :(

*hugs her Ron/Draco fics*

[popfiend.livejournal.com]

My spam has become more like that.

I do miss the days of spam that promises to make my penis mightier followed by spam that promises to make my boobs bigger.

My penis is mighty enough thank you and my manboobs do not need any enhancement.

:)

[sexyscholar.livejournal.com]

"Will it mighty my penis, man?!"

Sorry. I couldn't help it.

I never get the penis spam, nor do I get the boobie spam. Mine skips right over that and into the pr0n.

[popfiend.livejournal.com]

Everone gets the pr0n!

[feisty1.livejournal.com]

Spam in the blue, square tin can is fun, if you like meat by-products. But I never realized the spam in my in-box could be just as much fun! Woo!

*also checks spam box*


"Future, woman-tended"

My future is woman-tended? Ooooh, that sounds nice. I'll make sure my girlfriend knows.


"Impotence meds for the bost!"

bost? Is that like when you try to say "boss" and "best" at the same time? Or is it short for "best boss". Either way, I don't need to know that he has impotence problems. Ewwww. That's between him and his wife.


"Make your life stress free, get a diploma!"

Yeah, because a diploma is like a magic wand that magically makes all your troubles disappear. You defitely won't have stress trying to pay back your student loans, will you?


"I hear people bough, now get the momentum"

What the HELL is that supposed to mean?????


"Shame of sex?"

Uh...no.


"She will love you lot more"

Is that better or worse than "me love you long time"?


"Your tide sample on us"

First: Why would you put my tide sample on yourselves?
Second: Since you find it necessary to do this, please be sure to use the liquid tide, cuz the powdery shit could get stuck in the crack of your ass and cause some major chaffing. Rather painful I'd imagine.

[sexyscholar.livejournal.com]

Is that better or worse than "me love you long time"?

I'm not sure. But it can't be as good as being good at blowing job.

[ohmysyzygy.livejournal.com]

encore!

[single-path.livejournal.com]

thanks! That was the best laugh I've had in a while!