Writer's Block: Rotten tomatoes

[sexyscholar]

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wow. this is a hard question.

i'm a b-fest veteran and sit down willingly with a group of close friends to watch awful movies every friday or saturday, so i've seen a lot of really bad movies.

really bad.

but i think the worst movie i've ever seen would have to be a little gem called "science crazed."



now, you might say, "mona, i know from bad movies. i've seen 'manos: the hands of fate.' i've seen 'plan 9 from outer space.' i can handle it."

NO. NO YOU CAN'T.

"manos" is a cinematic fucking masterpiece compared to this flaming bag of moose shit.

"plan 9 from outer space" will bowl you over with its high tech and super-realistic special effects after you've seen this eye-raping strip of celluloid.

>_<

the plot: so, basically there's this crazy scientist. he injects this woman with some kind of funky growth serum, and she gets pregnant or something and gives birth to a full-grown monster. it kills her in the process and then goes on a rampage, killing really stupid, ugly people.

(fmh, shawnj, crwilley, dadandgirl, shugotenchi -- do i have the "plot" about right?)

i wish I could find some clips of it, because really, no matter how bad i *tell* you it is, unless you see it, YOU JUST CANNOT UNDERSTAND.

AND BELIEVE OR NOT, WE OWN THIS SHIT. IT'S IN MY HOUSE. RIGHT NOW.

Comments

[crwilley.livejournal.com]

That's basically the gist of it, yup.

And let me put the awfulness in other terms: You know how after watching the Star Wars Holiday Special, you might find yourself giggling for weeks about wookiee porn and drunk-off-her-ass Carrie Fisher? There is no wookiee porn and no Carrie Fisher, drunk or otherwise, in this movie. The things that make the film remarkably bad don't make you giggle, they make you scratch your head and wonder what the hell they were thinking.

I'm sticking with my theory that the director's cut was destroyed in a tragic studio fire, and so the film was cobbled back together using footage from the editing-room floor in honor of the two interns who died tragically trying to preserve it.

[sexyscholar.livejournal.com]

The things that make the film remarkably bad don't make you giggle, they make you scratch your head and wonder what the hell they were thinking.

LIKE THE TEN MINUTE SCENE WHERE THE MONSTER IS CREEPING UP ON THE WOMEN DOING AEROBICS.



FUCKING WHAT I DON'T EVEN.

[ryl.livejournal.com]

This post just made me determined to see this movie.

I am a sick, sick woman.

[shugotenchi.livejournal.com]

Dude, don't. It's like there's a party in your mouth and the cops just showed up.

I won't say we were praying for death by the end, but it was a hard slog to the end and stay conscious and relatively sane. On closer inspection - and I do not recommend this either - you will swear that this is three unrelated student films sellotaped together. It's what we use to destroy the minds of undead war criminals.


Lord, it isn't good.

[sexyscholar.livejournal.com]

It's like there's a party in your mouth and the cops just showed up.

[ryl.livejournal.com]

Now that I reread your plot summary, it sounds an awful lot like the last Twilight book. I rescind my earlier statement. RESCIND I SAY.

[single-path.livejournal.com]

You'll regret it. You want that time in your life back. We're not kidding when we say it's bad. That it's the worst movie you'll EVER see. There is 20 mins of footage of the creature walking down the hall. TWENTY MINUTES!!! You could outpace this guy by strolling.

[fmh.livejournal.com]

Yeah I gotta second this, I won't even do this prompt myself 'cause I'll just have the same answer. Shot on a budget of about $3.50 and lit with a maglite just the eyestrain alone would shave a coupla' stars of this visual root canal. Can you have negative stars? So bad it doesn't just suck it will actually hack your brain and erase pleasant memories of better movies..

[crwilley.livejournal.com]

...and we know it was a maglite, because the dude holding it was repeatedly visible in that one inexplicable spinny shot.

[lacey]

... oh my.

How much do thy charge for such things?

(I couldn't make it through Planet 9, but I want SO BAD to see this. LOL)