Ollie Ollie Oxen Free!

[sexyscholar]

So Claire and fambly head out to Costa Verde to hide out. Did anyone else think they said "Cuesta Verde," and was waiting for them to move in the Freaky Freeling house? Maybe that was just me. Anyway. Dad is all "don't be cool or anything like that. Just be lame, k?" And Claire is like, "Otay Dad. I'm gonna run out in front this car and totally get almost hit, k?" And Dad says, "K, k" and then she gets almost hit by HOT DUDE IN CAR.

So she's in her SCIENCE! class, and HOT DUDE IN CAR shows up and introduces hiimself as HOT DUDE NAMED WEST, and he's all "so, are you a robot or an alien?" And Claire is like, "O______________O" And she writes a correct answer in her notebook and HOT DUDE NAMED WEST is looking over her shoulder like, "I'm totally gonna copy off her."

Then there was the whole "Let's reenact Bring It On" scene and Claire is the cheerleader with a heart of gold. That was all kinds of FAIL.

Then she does a Triple Lindy off the tower -- BECAUSE SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE TOTALLY NOT SUPERPOWERED AND STUFF -- and her shins go up into her frickin EARS, but she heals and HOT DUDE NAMED WEST comes back and he's all "What is this WTFery?"

Later on she calls NathanDaddy, and she's like, "I JUST CAN'T TAKE THE PACE ANYMORE," and NathanDaddy is all, "Here's a quarter, call someone who cares. What is this WFTery?"

Then Claire is all, ";_______________; sob wubba wubba" and who should be lurking outside her window but HOT DUDE NAMED WEST WHO FLIES.

Oh, Mrs. ClaireMom? PLZTONOTBEKISSINGTHEDOGATTHETABLE, K?

But there was this srsly awesome part where ClaireDad went all Sayid on his manager at PaperKingdomWorld or something and kicked his ass with his finger, and he was like, "I PWN YOUR ASS, MANAGER BOY." AWESOME.

And then Hiro finally meets his hero and he's all, "OH HAI, I'M A WHITE ENGLISH DUDE." And Hiro is like, "O__________________________________O" And then we find out that Hiros's hero is a drunk money-grubbing pirate guy who'd sell his mom for another bottle of sake. And Hiro's like, "But you did all these mega-awesome things and you have to help me save the world and stuff," and English dude is like, "Fuck dat noize." And then he punches Hiro dead in the face and the goat is licking Hiro's face like, "I will saaaaaave yoooooooou!"

FTW WAS THAT ON NATHAN'S FACE?! SOMEBODY TURNED NATHAN INTO BEARDYASSHOBOJACK AND THAT IS NOT COOL. And then there was this part where he looked in a mirror and he saw himself. Except it was like EXTRA CRISPY RECIPE!NATHAN.

AND OMF, somebody killed Hiro's dad! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ;_______________;

And who is the girl who can make everybody's head go 'splody?

Parkman totally cheated on his policeman quiz. Molly was like, "did you cheat?" And Parkman was like, "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! no." And Molly was all, "you totally cheated, didn't you?" And Parkman was like, "SOOOOOOO, what's with the crazy pictures you're making?"

AND THEN PETER SHOWS UP AND HE WAS IN THIS CRATE IN IRELAND AND HE WAS NAKED AND SWEATY AND CHAINED UP. Then one guy was like, "What is this WTFery?" and tried to hit Peter and Peter shot a lazerbeam out of his hand or something, and then he was like "don't kill me before I find out who I am!"

YOU ARE PETER WHO IS NAKED AND SWEATY AND CHAINED UP. WAS THERE SOMETHING ELSE I NEEDED TO PAY ATTENTION TO?

I can't wait for next week.

On a completely unrelated note, I finally got 5 stars in "Play With Me" on medium in Guitar Hero, and now I can't get the song out of my head.